GOING OFF IS GOING ON

My alarm clock went off the other day, and I realized how funny it is that I say it "went off" which means it "went on".

So when an alarm goes off, it goes on.

MJW

A "MIDGE" BY ANY OTHER NAME...

"What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet"

Romeo and Juliet Act II. Scene II
by William Shakespeare

I was struck one day in the high school where I work, that the two secretaries in the main office were named Midge and Dottie. I thought, wow. How PERFECT is that? If I was writing a screenplay with a scene in a high school office, I would name the secretaries Midge and Dottie. Both middle aged women who run the place with motherly smiles and an iron fist.

And I thought, I wonder if going through life with these names, given at birth or acquired as nicknames (Midge = Madge = Margaret) (Dottie = Dorothy), affected their lives somehow? Was Midge destined to be a secretary instead of stripper?

("Donna". I rest my case...)

A good friend of mine has been on a few dates with a stripper named Brandy. And yes, that's her real name. She showed him her driver's license. She joked that her parents doomed her to be a stripper by choosing it.

My old land lord in college was named Dirk. Meanwhile there's a student in my high school named Wilbur. (He goes by Willie. See? Even he doesn't want to be called Wilbur) How varied are the lives of Dirk and Wilbur? If they met in a bar would Wilbur be secretly jealous of Dirk? Would Dirk immediately think, "poor bastard"?

Lets experiment. I Google-Imaged "Dirk". This was the first image on the page:

The Scottish Dirk.

A sleek looking dagger. A weapon of war/utility/survival. The rest of the page was an assortment of large, blond, viking looking men battling it out in various sports. 

I Google-Imaged "Wilbur". Here was the first image, no joke:

(he could use a dirk! i kid...)

This was the second:

Referencing the lead character "Wilbur" in the popular book Charlotte's Web. The rest of the page was an assortment of pigs & people named Wilbur. Could there really be a difference in the lives of the two men by name alone?

And then there's me. "Mark". I feel its plain. Simple. Short. I don't dislike it. (no worries mom and dad)

In trooth its related to Mars, the God of War. Sounds interesting, no? But what if I was Maximilian? Rupert? Rocco? Mortimer, Donovan or Spike? How would I have been perceived differently by the humans around me?

I'll never know, I spoze. But it makes me wonder.

Who would you be if you weren't you? 

MJW

FUEL GAUGE GAUGING INTELLIGENCE?

Using my mother's car lately, I noticed her gas gauge looks like this:

Note the use of marks for quarter tanks between full ("F"), half full (I'm a gas tank half full, not half empty kind of guy), and empty ("E").





 

Then, borrowing my father's car for an errand, I noticed his gas gauge looked like this. (right)

Note the LACK of marks for quarter tanks.

So I was wondering, what does this say about the car manufacturer? What are they saying about us as the owner of the vehicle?

Is the manufacturer of my mother's car (Toyota) implying that she's too stoopid to gauge quarter tanks on her own, so they put marks there for her?

And the manufacturer of my father's car (Honda) is implying his superior intelligence in that he can figure out quarter tanks on his own based on the needles position between Full and Empty?

(Discuss).

HELPFUL TIP - GAUGING YOUR GAUGE: When borrowing a car and you pull in for fuel not knowing what side the tank is on, often there is a tiny arrow on the fuel gauge indicating left or right. (see top photo) Hopefully this will save you some fuel having to flip the car around.

MJW

Publish Post

A MATTER OF LIFE AND DISCO

Heading from the parking lot into a nightclub a while back, my friend and I saw an ambulance parked out front with all its lights flashing. No siren, no emergency that we could see, but I couldn't help but notice the fine line between an emergency vehicle designed to save lives, and a disco dance party.

Observe...

Potential Death (click for video, "back" to return to blog)

Potential Disco (click for video, "back" to return to blog)

Swapping high-pitched sirens for high-tech techno, ambulances are mobile discotheques.

MJW

PEP BOYS LOGO = FASCISM

Nice try Pep Boys Auto-parts company. You almost had me fooled but I've smoked you out. Your seemingly innocent logo featuring characters of the three (supposed) founding owners, "Manny", "Moe" and "Jack"...

...Is really a thinly veiled resurrection of the triumvirate of World War II fascists leaders; Japanese Prime Minister Hideki Tojo (left),  Nazi Germany's Adolph Hitler (center), and Italian Dictator Benito Mussolini (right).

With a few simple modifications, this "Axle of Evil" is exposed. 

Manny - Hair = TOJO

Moe + Mustache Trim & Hair Swoop = HITLER

Jack - Hair = MUSSOLINI

It's not the first time they've been portrayed in cartoon form together. Check out this anti-fascist cartoon from 1942, with the original characters in the same order left to right. (ps - these are real)

Or this one. (note character on the left is Japanese Emperor Hirohito, but it still works)

"Pep Boys does everything for less" all right. Like putting pep in your goose-step, then subduing you and your vehicle to the iron will of fascism.

I may not understand what they're up to exactly, but it can't be good. You've been warned, America. What you do (or don't) from this point is up to you.

Just remember...

 MJW

FROM THE SHORES OF MONTEZUMA TO THE HALLS OF MARLBORO HIGH

In the lunch room of the High School I work at currently, there was a recruiter from the Marine Corps.

He was dressed to the 9's in his dress uniform, had a colorful table adorned with many pamphlets and pictures of the Corps and soldiers laying on the ground firing machine guns.

During the lunch periods, many kids went up out of curiosity, (after the one or two bravest went first) and they shook hands with the Marine and many did push ups in pairs or alone, showing what they could do. They would get a bumper sticker or tiny yellow and red foam football with the Marines logo on it, or maybe a poster that had a Marine doing a chin-up, with the words, "We only ask everything you've got. And we'll tell you when you've given it."

I have to say I had mixed feelings about him being there.

First let me say I have nothing against the military. My family have served in all branches since the Civil War. Sure it'd be great for our species to evolve over-night to a place of understanding where not one group of humans feels they need to band together with weapons as a "just in case" form of conflict resolution.

I know we live in a militarized world. There have been armies as long as there have been large civilizations after Man left hunting and gathering behind, staying in one spot and increasing population through agriculture. (some say that was the beginning of the end for our species)

And following World War 2 and the subsequent Cold War, the United States became the most powerful empire the world has ever seen. (use the euphemism "Super-Power" if it goes down easier) And today we have the largest, most expensive, most technologically advanced, and now most combat trained, military on the planet. (our largest export. i kid)

And even if we didn't have over 700 bases in over 130 countries and maintained armed forces just to protect our borders, those forces would involve ships on the water, and each ship needs marines. They keep order on board and can be sent on land to conduct missions in support of the ship. But on a larger scale the Marines have their own combat units that fight on land like regular Army divisions, but with their more intense training and conditioning (including the brain), the Marines are considered more elite and often first into the fray.

And where else you gonna find new Marines but in a high school? Boys in 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th grade who don't know what the heck they're doing with their lives yet or feel they have no options.

My mother has spoken often of boys she knew when a teenager who joined the army, served four years then came home more mature, responsible and focused than they were beforehand. (this was before Vietnam when just about everyone in her world knew or dated someone who had been hurt or killed there).

And maybe not every American kid wants to sit in a class room studying English and Math in order to be sentenced to a prison-like cubicle for the better years of their lives on earth, instead wanting the adventure, action, discipline and daily immediacy the military provides.

What I have a problem with is where they will most definitely serve if they do indeed enlist. Iraq or Afghanistan, most likely the latter, both of which I feel are blatant imperialist land acquisitions.

I will debate this with anyone who cares to. And I will back everything with as many facts about American foreign policy as possible. Not emotion. Not rhetoric. Don't tell me that our government, both Bush and Obama administrations and Congress', have spent countless billions and tens of thousands of lives both dead and wounded (theirs and ours), to liberate millions of oppressed people in order to keep us free. That was the story in World War 2 and the Cold War and its being forced down our throats again.

If this argument were valid (which seems to be the only reason people come up with when we wonder why we're in either country right now - Iraq in particular), then we'd be invading North Korea, China, most African nations, numerous South American nations, and additional Middle Eastern nations including Saudi Arabia, our greatest regional ally there (and holder of the world's largest oil reserves - accident?) who's human rights record is one of the worst around. The world has oppressed people's-a-plenty. And we ain't spending a dime or a life to liberate them.

So if they're not there for freedom, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (which will come super-sized in the form of the first Baghdad Walmart and Kabul Home Depot), then there are other reasons - like protecting American interests - not YOUR interests or MY interests mind you - but rather the business, banking, energy, and military interests. Corporations who profit from war, conflict, and scarcity. (more to come on scarcity as the necessary root of capitalism)

At least be up front with these kids. Don't give them a John Phillip Sousa song and dance about the ol' red white and blue, apple pie, I cannot tell a lie. Tell them they what they may really be called to serve. Empire.

Then let them decide.

MJW

IT'S NOT THE SIZE OF THE UNIVERSE...

Was looking at the stars and almost full moon while driving home from rehearsal tonight and thought about how the entire universe could likely be a one part of something far larger.

It only makes sense. If you look at the tiniest tiniest object in the universe, which according to quantum mechanics are little vibrating strings of energy, then go up the chain to larger things like (I may not have them in the correct order) atoms, neutrons, protons, cells, and then the things cells create, like the teeny tiny red spider bugs that crawl all over the stone walls flanking my parents driveway, to fleas to ants to spiders to moths to roaches to mice to cats to dogs to sheep to cows to horses to moose to giraffes to elephants to killer whales to blue whales to mountains to the planet to solar systems to galaxies interwoven like DNA strands - the whole thing goes small to big.

So why would we assume the universe itself is the largest in the chain? I know we can't define it or know how large it is or if it just goes on and on and on forever. I know I'm comparing collections of matter with a perception of (seemingly) endless space and that's not a fair comparison. Fair enough.

But I view the universe, both matter and space, to be one process. One living thing. Like the way your body is an entire universe of cells working in unison. In harmony. One purpose. Thus "you" yourself are not one thing at all. A collection of differentiations of one process. Even saying living "thing" is flawed, but I want to get the point across. I feel the universe, and everything of it, (not in it as if placed from an external source) is a verb. Not a noun.

Thus I wonder if the entire universal process may be just one of many processes that are the vibrating strings of the atoms and neutrons and protons of cells of a tiny red spider walking beneath an elephant beneath stars of endless galaxies...  MJW

MARK TEIXEIRA/RACHEL MADDOW IDENTICAL TWINS

I've realized that Rachel Maddow, American radio personality, television host, and political commentator, and New York Yankees first baseman and slugger Mark Teixeira are identical twins.

MJW

TRICKED BY CATCHY JESUS MUSIC

Since my return to the Hudson Valley from New York City I've been doing a lot of driving.

Pressing "Scan" on the radio sends it through the stations it picks up, plays a second or two, then goes to the next if I don't press "Scan" again to stop it.

So lately, it'll land on a good song, something sort of Maroon 5-ish, a catchy catchy tune I do not know but figure whatever, I'll listen to it. And then all of a sudden they mention Jesus and being saved or something.

Now, the fact it's Christian music shouldn't make me stop listening if I liked the music, and yet, for some reason I feel tricked, and so change it.

Well played, crafty catchy Christian composers. Well played...

MJW

"I CAN TELL YOU, BUT THEN I'D HAVE TO KILL YOU"

NOTE:

You want to know something that the person your with doesn't want you to know.

So they joke, "I can tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

This gem of humor stopped being unique or funny circa 1988 and should never be uttered again.

Thank you.

MJW

THE BORN (in the u.s.a.) IDENTITY

Okay my fellow Americans. Once and for all, you have GOT to stop playing Bruce Springsteen's song, "Born In The U.S.A." at 4th of July Independence Day fire-works shows, political rallies, and hate-gatherings like those against Muslims near the former World Trade Center because you don't want them to build a community center.

This song is NOT PRO AMERICAN. It is CRITICAL OF AMERICA. SARCASTIC.

In particular of the Vietnam war, the poor sent to fight it, and treatment of veterans upon their return. I read it was originally titled "Vietnam", but was changed. You can challenge the specifics of my interpretation of the lyrics (which are coming up) but proving its pro American would be a neat trick.

Now, I used to sing along with the chorus at fire-works shows myself. I'm as guilty as any other American. Let's face it. No one can understand much of what Bruce Springsteen is saying. He, Michael Jackson, and Michael McDonald (from the Doobie Brothers - BEAVIS: heh heh... doobie...) have all had successful music careers with no one having a damn cloo what any of them are saying.

(You know what I'm talking about)

MICHAEL JACKSON

• What I know of his song, "Smooth Criminal" (a big hit in the States)
• "Annie are you okay? Annie are you okay Annie?" 
• "And the blood-stains on the carpet"
• "You were struck down, it was your doom" 
• What the HECK is any of the above about? 
• No cloo. 
• Hit song.
• Or "Billy Jean"
• "Do a dance. On the floor. In the round." 
• ??????
• Big hit.

But that's no excuse for the complete stoopidity that underscores the pro-American stance when the song is played.

In my opinion its symptomatic of Americans in general. Not paying enough attention to what they're railing passionately about, which is usually something bad for them though they scream they want it. (war, tax cuts for the rich, bail-outs for the rich, ending their own social security, increased military spending, disbanding unions - yes they, like any other human institution can become corrupt, but balance them, like we should balance government, banks, business', don't get rid of the workers only representation - you want your greedy-ass profit-motive managers to have all the power in deciding when to fire you when you and your pension and medical coverage is cutting into their bottom line? SO DO THEY.)

So, here, once and for all, I share the lyrics to Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A." so we're all on the same page. You wanna be proud of your country, be proud of more than just being born there. It was chance. Big whoop. What ELSE are you proud of?

BORN IN THE U.S.A. by Bruce Springsteen

Born down in a dead man's town
The first kick I took was when I hit the ground
You end up like a dog that's been beat too much
Till you spend half your life just covering up

Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Got in a little hometown jam
So they put a rifle in my hand
Sent me off to a foreign land
To go and kill the yellow man

Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.

Come back home to the refinery
Hiring man says "Son if it was up to me"
Went down to see my V.A. man (mark note: V.A. = Veteran Affairs)
He said "Son, don't you understand"

I had a brother at Khe Sahn fighting off the Viet Cong
They're still there, he's all gone

He had a woman he loved in Saigon
I got a picture of him in her arms now

Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years burning down the road
Nowhere to run ain't got nowhere to go

Born in the U.S.A.
I was born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I'm a long gone Daddy in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
Born in the U.S.A.
I'm a cool rocking Daddy in the U.S.A.


MJW

IS NO GROUND ZERO MOSQUE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZpT2Muxoo0

TAILOR ROBBED

COP: How much did he make off with?

OLD TAILOR: The entire register! And everything in the safe.

COP: I see a yellow measuring tape along the door frame in case of robbery.

OLD TAILOR: To measure customers. 

COP: I know you only caught a glimpse as he exited your shop, but can you describe...

OLD TAILOR: ...Seventy-one and three eights inches tall. I'd say...thirty-four inch waist. Jacket should be forty-two long but he was wearing a blue cotton jacket that was at least a forty-four regular. Sleeves were hanging over his knuckles. Bad tailoring. Slacks had a thirty-two inch inseam, neck, sixteen and a half inches. Brow, seven and three eighths most likely.  Shoes size a twelve wide, probably. Torso...

MJW

MEN BEHIND THE CURTAIN

In all honesty I haven't been up on the news lately, (blog for another time) but I know there's debate about how Wiki-leaks posted documents called the Afghan War Diary, 2004-2010.  That people's names were mentioned who are helping us overseas and now they may be killed or something. I don't know enough about those specifics, but I feel over all its good the government knows shit may be leaked. Any place. Any time. World Wide. That's GOT to go far toward making them more legit, or at least covering their tracks better (which may not be good).

I'm so weary of the bullshit that holds this country together that I welcome any dose of another side - any reveal of the men behind the curtain. When people have no jobs, no home, no hope in this country, and billions of dollars, millions of lives are being wasted to increase the profit margin of corporations with more money and power than entire nations, I'm for anything that stings people into realizing governments lie.

Everyone's yelling about Mexicans or Mosques, all riled up and so emotional they can't think straight about the infiltrators and fundamentalists, orthodox capitalist terrorists working daily in DC and Wall Street.

MJW

YOU SAY POTATO I SAY TOMATO

I'm convinced America is made up of two kinds of people. Those who say "supper", and those who say "dinner". I'm a "dinner". You know why? Because I'm dining. Dinner. Dining. Dining on dinner. I guess people do "sup" together. Thus, "supper". Though "supper" sounds more like a person who sups. Not an activity.

 I also find there are two types of people when it comes to putting on shoes. Some leave the shoes on the floor and bring their feet into to the shoe, while others lift the shoe and bring it to their foot. I however do both for some reason. I lift it to my foot, put said foot half way in, then set it on the ground to complete insertion. (now there are three types...)

Also there are people who say "soda" and those who say "pop". This is a big one. I even remember working with a guy from Kansas who called all soda, "coke".

And I asked how that works if you want something other than Coca-Cola, and he said you order a Coke, and then they ask what kind, and you say Sprite or whatever. And I was like, okay... Seems like wasted communication in there if you ask me. I always thought the purpose of vocabulary was to make communication concise. To the point. As quick as possible. Why use four words when you can use one? Perhaps I'm insane. (quite possible)

On this issue, I'm a soda man. You know why? Because that's what it is. Soda. You can say "soda pop", but the "pop" part, referring to the bubbles I guess, is inherent in the use of the word "soda". We need not describe the soda as "popping" soda, as there is no soda without "pop". (unless your brother left the cap loose and it went flat).

But you can't just say, "pop". If you say "pop" your father might turn around. Your father responding to a request for a fizzy beverage is the last thing anyone should experience. Shouldn't even be a possibility. And to say Coke when you want a Sprite? Not just saying Sprite? Even more insane.

A lot of weird names for submarine sandwiches, or subs, or heroes, or what I saw them called up in Maine, "Italians". Even if it wasn't an Italian sub. (which usually has salami and other Italian ingredients) One summer, zooming past a roadside deli in the gorgeous Maine woods I saw a sign that said, "Come in and see our beautiful Italians." And I was like, what the heck? What about beautiful Hungarians? Albanians? Romanians? Got any of them?

MJW

NO REVOLUTION IN EVOLUTION

I'm no scientist. I'm also not a religious leader. (Or follower).

I hear about all the conflict, hatred, division and rhetoric hurled about by one group of humans at another over the subjects of evolution and intelligent design, and it all sounds pretty crazy.

I offer a point of view from a place of simple observation:

If you look in a full length mirror, you'll see a head and four main appendages. Two arms, two legs. You'll see two eyes. Two nostrils for breathing. Two ears for hearing. You can feel your rib cage in your chest. Feel the spine your ribs are connected to.  Feel the bones in the digits of your fingers. Your toes. Feel your heart beating. Your lungs breathing in. Exhaling.

Now, if you look at pics of the following creatures, you'll see that they all have the exact same features as you; dogs, cats, mice, rats, birds (two feet, two wings for arms), horses, cows (the latter two with hooves instead of digits, though a deer has two digits in its cloven hoof), lizards, alligators (the latter two have tails, but still they have four main appendages, and you can feel your own tail bone at the top of your butt), elephants, rhinoceroses, giraffes, zebras and so on and so on - all have the same main features. Maybe different numbers of bone digits in hands/feet, but they're segmented all the same. Not to mention reproduction with eggs, which even human women release every month from their body when unfertilized. (yes ladies, you lay an egg)

With the exception of shell fish, sharks and whales and other sea creatures, most of them, have two eyes like us, nostrils (or one blow-hole in a whale's case) for smelling things in the water, have spines and ribs (of varying size/thickness) and hearts and arteries and stomachs and intestines and so-forth.

So what I'm saying is, why don't all these creatures have three eyes? Why not some with one, some with four, some with eight? Five arms, three legs? Why do they all share these very few, very similar traits that anyone can see?

I know insects are very different. Fly eyes are pretty crazy, and millipedes have tons of legs and all that. Bugs are pretty crazy. But they have their own similarities once you get down into that realm of life.

Human nervous system

Even if you look at trees, they too have fluid (sap) moving through them, they take in water like we do, their root systems and branch systems sure look a lot like our veins and nerves. I dug the earth with my dad for a garden he wanted to start and we hit the teeny tiny filament ends of a trees root system attached to larger roots and man did it look exactly like diagrams of the human nervous system.

Now, just as I could say all this simple visible evidence suggests clearly that we were all once connected and branched in our own ways over time, someone could say that clearly one creator engineered us in their laboratory.

I personally can't see it, but I leave it to you to see for yourself.

(With your own two eyes...)

MJW

BROKEN-BAT SINGLES

Broken-bat singles are a baseball phenomenon whereby the bat breaks when it hits the ball, and the force of the swing is so diminished that the ball often bloops between the defending players for a hit. (EXAMPLE VID)

There were so many broken-bat singles in the Yankees/Red Sox game last night, I'm surprised a manager has never gone with an all broken-bat line-up. 

ANNOUNCER: And there's the SEVENTH broken-bat single in a row! I've never seen anything like it! We have their manager standing by for word on what HAS to be a league record. (to MANAGER) What the heck's going on down there? Your bats made of balsa?

MANAGER: Ha. No. We saw them a bit. Just enough to ensure a clean break. As you can see, we're breaking new ground here. Ha.

(I can imagine "Broken-Bat Singles" being a great name for a singles dating service for divorced baseball players. But, that's a bit for another time...)

MJW