BATHROOM GRAFFITI - AN ANALYSIS

Was in a bathroom the other day in Poughkeepsie, NY and read the only graffiti scratched into the beige paint on the inner wall of the metal stall. (PS, this is real graffiti)

"Here I sit on the popper / I just gave birth to a N.Y.S. kopper."

ANALYSIS

First, lets take into account the amount of energy this anonymous individual put into sharing this one-way communication. They used a key most likely, taking time to scrape and scratch each letter of each word, all to convey their dislike of New York State Police.  (N.Y.S. = New York State)

What negative experience befell this citizen at the hands of the New York State Police to spark such a labor intensive poetic insult? We'll never know. But what we do know are the words used, and if they effectively conveyed their displeasure.

LINE ONE: "Here I sit on the popper"

I have never in my travels heard of a toilet called a "popper". Perhaps this is a colloquial expression from a region I do not know. If anyone knows its origin, let me know. Perhaps it was concocted in order to rhyme with the real subject of the vitriol in line two, New York State law enforcement.

LINE TWO: "I just gave birth to a N.Y.S. kopper"

Here, a New York State police officer is humorously equated with the individuals feces.  The tone and feeling of dislike resonates. (NOTE: The opinions of the toilet author are not those of Earth Man Chronicles)

Note the use of the letter "k" in "kopper". A unique choice by the author. Perhaps he halted before scratching the last word of the message, scratching his head upon realizing that "copper" with a "c" might lead one to believe they mean:

"I just gave birth to a N.Y.S. copper"

...meaning the metal and not the slang term for a "cop", which would make no sense. Copper may be produced in New York State, but it is not unique to the region.

RECOMMENDATION TO AUTHOR
Upon analysis, I offer the toilet author the following edit. It will not only maintain the original intent, but strengthen it.

A "pooper" seems a much more apt description of a toilet than a "popper" in my opinion. Thus I recommend:

LINE ONE: "Here I sit on the pooper"

For line two, it is important to note that New York State police officers are almost unanimously referred to as "State Troopers", not "police" or "cops" or "coppers/koppers".

With this in mind, line two writes itself and eliminates the need for unique letter usage to avoid the unintended association with an element on the periodic table.

"I just gave birth to a N.Y.S. trooper"

(NOTE: Capitalization of the "t" in "trooper" is deliberately ignored in order to accentuate disdain) Therefore, the final edited message would read:

"Here I sit on the pooper / I just gave birth to a N.Y.S. trooper"

ANALYSIS COMPLETE

MJW